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frowns

19 Feb

i love my tutor for being not prejudiced nor angry with me for performing way below par for my biopharm class test. im not talking about making 5 mistakes and making a hooha out of it like some people do.

thank god he didnt give me the lecture on how-sponsored-students-are-supposed-to-maintain-good-academicrecords
-throughout-all-the-semesters. thanks for being understanding. i was already close to tears.

i must say that my consistency depends alot on 50% luck and 50% memory. on that fateful morning of exam, my amethyst bracelet broke, mr. cockroach said hi to me and my stomach was churning from food poisoning. i felt jinxed the whole day. yes, im superstitious. but i went on and faced the paper with a smile cos i filled my mind with thoughts of going home the next day. but still feel a tinge of jinx nevertheless. it didnt go away. so it was 10%luck left and prolly 35% memory. that totally didnt help.

i tried to be optimistic. ive not seen good results in a while. im afraid that the happiness i had from better results in the past would not be enough to sustain me emotionally if things are still going downhill.

i keep telling myself to buck up, study hard if not HARDER. a fren told me she feels worthless cos she feels like shes the weakest academically among some of her peers. i gave her the do-not-compare-yourself-to-others-cos-u-are-perfect-in-your-own-ways speech to console her but i was actually trying to comfort myself?

i duno man. didnt mean to be emo. just a class test anyways. just that the amount of effort i put in was not justified. you dont normally get to reap what u sow do you?

tomorrow…

28 Jan

im gonna shop like nobody’s business after being deprived for so long,
hang out till wee hours in the morning with my chums
eat my oyster mee sua that ive been craving for weeks
watch sweeney todd..i dont even remember the last time i breathe the air in GSC

ahHH..cant wait for biopharm to be over!!! it feels like EOS..how to cram whole book into my puny brain when we only had few weeks to do so?haih..i need my karma to be high so that i can tembak correctly. will study harder for EOS..*promise*

18 Jan
i cant stand it when…
  • some people thinks they have the upper hand in EVERY decision that has to be made just because they have the means to do so or because they think theyre betrothed with the ‘title’ to do so. pls, i really dun need another mother/principal/dicipline teacher that sets the rules and expects everyone to adhere to it without prior discussion.
  • i see some of my peers bellitling others academically just because theyre sponsored by the government and hence ‘suppose to be’ one of the smartest in the country. i am not that soleh but this irritates me alot. it may be subconscious but its OBVIOUS. everybody is made equal and hence one may be better than you in things that u might not have even heard of. its not always about the A’s or dean’slist or godknowswhatshit award that they present to you for ‘self-saticfactions’s’ sake.
  • certain people CONSTANTLY coming to me and sound his/her worries about future event thats not even taking place yet. yes, i worry too but i do not need to be reminded EVERYDAY. and i know, its a good thing to think further but i dont think sounding your worries all the time will do anything to help at all. i dont even know if i will make it through today so the last thing i need to hear is all this blablabla. moderation is the key.
  • people do not know how to take no for an answer. do i have to say yess all the time just to make you happy. yes, the truth always hurt but pls act like an adult and deal with it.
  • your hipocrisy shines so BRIGHT its blinding u turn me away. u may think its subtle but its not.

sorry for my rantings. just cant help it when im irritated.may sound trivial but im just super irritated. i think its PMS-post menstrual syndrome. or pre-exam syndrome. or current-homesick syndrome. so not healthy.
18 Jan
i cant stand it when…
  • some people thinks they have the upper hand in EVERY decision that has to be made just because they have the means to do so or because they think theyre betrothed with the ‘title’ to do so. pls, i really dun need another mother/principal/dicipline teacher that sets the rules and expects everyone to adhere to it without prior discussion.
  • i see some of my peers bellitling others academically just because theyre sponsored by the government and hence ‘suppose to be’ one of the smartest in the country. i am not that soleh but this irritates me alot. it may be subconscious but its OBVIOUS. everybody is made equal and hence one may be better than you in things that u might not have even heard of. its not always about the A’s or dean’slist or godknowswhatshit award that they present to you for ‘self-saticfactions’s’ sake.
  • certain people CONSTANTLY coming to me and sound his/her worries about future event thats not even taking place yet. yes, i worry too but i do not need to be reminded EVERYDAY. and i know, its a good thing to think further but i dont think sounding your worries all the time will do anything to help at all. i dont even know if i will make it through today so the last thing i need to hear is all this blablabla. moderation is the key.
  • people do not know how to take no for an answer. do i have to say yess all the time just to make you happy. yes, the truth always hurt but pls act like an adult and deal with it.
  • your hipocrisy shines so BRIGHT its blinding u turn me away. u may think its subtle but its not.

sorry for my rantings. just cant help it when im irritated.may sound trivial but im just super irritated. i think its PMS-post menstrual syndrome. or pre-exam syndrome. or current-homesick syndrome. so not healthy.
18 Jan
i cant stand it when…
  • some people thinks they have the upper hand in EVERY decision that has to be made just because they have the means to do so or because they think theyre betrothed with the ‘title’ to do so. pls, i really dun need another mother/principal/dicipline teacher that sets the rules and expects everyone to adhere to it without prior discussion.
  • i see some of my peers bellitling others academically just because theyre sponsored by the government and hence ‘suppose to be’ one of the smartest in the country. i am not that soleh but this irritates me alot. it may be subconscious but its OBVIOUS. everybody is made equal and hence one may be better than you in things that u might not have even heard of. its not always about the A’s or dean’slist or godknowswhatshit award that they present to you for ‘self-saticfactions’s’ sake.
  • certain people CONSTANTLY coming to me and sound his/her worries about future event thats not even taking place yet. yes, i worry too but i do not need to be reminded EVERYDAY. and i know, its a good thing to think further but i dont think sounding your worries all the time will do anything to help at all. i dont even know if i will make it through today so the last thing i need to hear is all this blablabla. moderation is the key.
  • people do not know how to take no for an answer. do i have to say yess all the time just to make you happy. yes, the truth always hurt but pls act like an adult and deal with it.
  • your hipocrisy shines so BRIGHT its blinding u turn me away. u may think its subtle but its not.

sorry for my rantings. just cant help it when im irritated.may sound trivial but im just super irritated. i think its PMS-post menstrual syndrome. or pre-exam syndrome. or current-homesick syndrome. so not healthy.